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Jane Austen Society of Australia

Writing Competition 2000 winner
A review of Mansfield Park by John Thorpe (Northanger Abbey)

Topic: A book review by a Jane Austen character of another Austen book

My Dear Morland,

I am deuced glad that you have decided to accompany me to Bath and I know that a certain young lady will be vastly pleased to see you. Even if she is my sister I must say that she is a damned fine girl but I should warn you that she is a most atrocious flirt. But I know that you are old enough to watch out for yourself and must take your chance.

You will be astonished to receive a letter from me since you know that I find writing a beastly bore but as you are a bookish sort of fellow I thought I would tell you about a novel I have been reading. Its title is Mansfield Park and my friend Jackson of Oriel has been mad for me to read it. It came out in May and apparently it is all the rage in Oxford just now. You know my opinion of novels in general; that they are the stupidest things in creation and that there has not been a tolerably decent one to be had since Tom Jones and The Monk. They are all so full of nonsense and stuff. My sister keeps a great list of books that she teases me to read but I swear I won’t turn a page of any of them to please her. I couldn’t say nay to my friend Jackson, however, and he was very pressing that I should borrow his Mansfield Park. I can tell you at once that it is the most horrid nonsense you can imagine and if I agreed to read it it was only because I did not want to snub Jackson, whom, you might remember is a bit of a stiff-necked fellow, apt to take offence. He has made me a pretty offer to sell me his carriage at a good price and I am in a mind to close with him. It’s curricle-hung, you see; seat, trunk, sword case, silver moulding, all complete. Quite the thing, I assure you. I am a bit strapped for cash at the moment but all I need to do is to apply to my Mama. You know she dotes on me, as well she might, since I am her only son. If I handle the old lady right I can always get her to do the decent thing. She might grumble but she likes to see me well turned-out.

Now to the book. Such unnatural stuff. I must admit I skipped over it and got pretty confused, trying to follow what was going on. Not a bit like The Monk where Mrs Radcliffe spins a good story and where there are lots of awful secrets and puzzles to keep a fellow entertained. Mansfield Park is about a stiff, boring old fellow, Sir Thomas Bertram and his family. He’s as rich as Croesus and has 2 sons and 2 daughters. Tom, the elder son, seems a pretty good sort of fellow. He’s a bit of a man about town, hunts, is very keen on racing and is popular with the fair sex. His younger brother, Edmund, is a namby-pamby sort of chap, no fun in him at all and he seems to be always talking poetry or looking at the stars, in company with his cousin Fanny, a timid little creep-mouse of a girl. I hope you won’t be offended, my dear Morland, if I say that he is only fit to be a parson. His father could well afford to set him up in his own establishment but he is set on taking orders. In fact, he seems to think he is a parson already, always preaching and trying to spoil other people’s fun. He ends up with Creepmouse Fanny and by God they deserve each other.

There is an aunt, a nosy, interfering old woman and I was glad to see that in the end Sir Thomas gives her a good put-down. The 2 daughters, Maria and Julia, are the nosy aunt’s favourites and she detests Fanny and has her running errands all the time. The other aunt, Lady Bertram, is a lazy, useless old woman, who never seems to budge from the sofa where she pets a disgusting little dog. The elder daughter, Maria, is no better than she should be and comes to a bad end. She was lucky not to come upon the town.

There is a fat old parson, a glutton, who dies of apoplexy. His wife has a niece and nephew, Mary and Henry Crawford, and apart from Tom they are the only ones I could be doing with. Henry has a bit of style, keeps a barouche and the women are mad for him, all except 

Fanny Creepmouse. He decides he wants to marry her. More fool he, I say. Lord, why would he want to tie himself up to such an insipid, prosing little thing?

Luckily for him it doesn’t come off. That dull stick Edmund fancies himself in love with Mary and at first it looks as if she might accept him but in the end she can’t do with him being a parson. Good for her I say, but our lady novelist seems to have taken against her and tries to make her readers do the same. In my opinion she would have been better off staying home and mending her stockings, rather than scribbling such nonsense. It might do for the ladies – they seem to like a bit of sermonising in their novels but it’s not my style. I know you think that I am often a sad rattle but I hope I have wit enough to know bad writing when I see it. Take my advice – if any of your clever friends want you to read Mansfield Park give them the outright denial and tell them you have better things to do.

Looking forward to seeing you soon,

I remain, as ever,
Your old friend John Thorpe.

Marjorie Jones

Illustration top left: John Thorpe of Northanger Abbey, by CE Brock (1870-1938)

Other winners:
2nd prize ~ Shirley Byrne
Honourable Mention ~ Jeannette Woods

FEEDBACK: info@jasa.net.au

02 January 2003

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